How I Lost My Wings (My Life After Covid19)
By Resa Peralta - Tuesday, October 20, 2020
Photo by Khamkéo Vilaysing on Unsplash
I've been on hiatus from blogging for 3 years.
Hello everyone, My name is Resa. As you can see this blog is titled R's Beauty Diary as this was supposed to be my online beauty diary where I share my reviews and thoughts about the beauty and skincare products that I used and liked. But what happened? Why was I on hiatus for 3 years? Again I don't know if this is still post-worthy but I just want to share my journey and thoughts.
In 2017, I started to be employed on a reservations company and I couldn't handle my time wisely so back then I was trying my best to still write for my blog but found myself not doing it anymore. I have so many draft posts and eventually, I lose track. I don't know what happened. Is it because of my poor time management? Or because I lost my passion?
Fast forward to 2018, I fulfilled my dream of being a Flight Attendant. It was a hard journey. I poured a lot of prayers and hard work to make my dream come true and praise God because He answered my prayers, and now I am living my dream. I'm not going to lie. I loved my job. I still couldn't believe that I would be an outgoing person. It was never my personality before. I was shy, timid, and scared of socializing with people back then. But it all started with a dream. Every time, I see airplanes flying in the sky, I would always tell myself that, "Someday, it's gonna be me in that plane." It was my dream to ride an airplane, and when I experienced my first airplane ride, I told myself that I'm gonna be here someday. I will have this job someday. I will never give up and I know that I am gonna be a Flight Attendant someday. All I knew before is being a Flight Attendant was all about glamour. But I was wrong, I learned lots of things, and it also unleashed some of my hidden strengths. Things that I didn't know that I can do.
Everything was going so well.
In 2019, I started to fly international flights, which means I can have layovers. This is one of the things that Flight Attendants love, a layover is your rest period after a long or short-haul flight but you can also take this time to visit some places in your destination country provided that you will be well-rested before your flight back.
It was my dream, to go to other countries. Places that I can never go to if I am still working on my previous company or any office jobs because I know that it will be hard for me. It gave me the privilege to visit my dream countries. Meeting new people became a very exciting thing for me. There was a sense of fulfillment whenever I wear my uniform for work and fly. Though there are some times where I will feel burned out because of my messed up body clock but still, I would say that this is the best job ever and I wouldn't want to go back to my previous job nor transfer to another careers. I have decided to stay and grow old in this industry. I love aviation. I really do.
I love the sound of the aircraft engine, that amazing feeling whenever I see sunsets and sunrise every take-off and landing, because not every day is the same. I learned to appreciate everything that I had, the amazing views that I see every day at work, my passengers, walking in the cabin, working in the galley, and meeting new people every day, sharing our lives on our jumpseats.
March 2020, Corona Virus has started to spread to a lot of countries, and eventually, my country has implemented a lockdown. I flew the day before the lockdown happened and I didn't know that it will be my last flight as a Flight Attendant. I was kinda relieved at that time because I was able to go back to my hometown before the lockdown started. But then, as months passed by the lockdown took longer than expected. Flights are reduced and even prohibited in some parts of the country so that means no work for me, and it was also hard to go to the city to report for work since it's hard to find transportation and also travel is restricted.
Then, it came. I lost my job. I was retrenched from my company. It was hard to accept but I knew that it was coming. I kept on telling myself that it is fine but I found myself in loneliness every night. It was hard to accept. I felt like no words could comfort me and it was so painful. I was all settled with the idea of growing old in this job and this happened. I know that a lot of airline employees and fellow crews are experiencing the same thing right now but it was still hard to accept. I still look back to the memories that I had as a Flight Attendant and it makes me feel lonely whenever I think of it.
Never in my imagination would I think of being retrenched because of a pandemic. Then I was reminded of how uncertain this life is. In just one snap, everything that you longed for will be taken away from you. Everything is temporary, and I shouldn't put my security and purpose on any person or what I do for a living, but only for Jesus. I am grateful that the Lord has allowed me to experience this short-lived dream. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I will keep on trusting and look forward to His great plans.
What am I doing now?
As I am writing this post now, I am still in deep thoughts. What will I do now?
I want to rekindle my passion again or discover other things that I am good at. I want to start blogging again even if people nowadays would prefer to watch YouTube videos than read blogs. I want to start again not because I need people's approval of my work, but because I know that this is what I loved to do. I love pouring out my thoughts through writing and this is where I am good at expressing myself.
I don't know if you are still reading up to this part but if you are, I want to thank you for reading my sincere thoughts.
As for R's Beauty Diary, I want to start again, I want to start from scratch and continue to do what I used to love.
What am I doing now?
As I am writing this post now, I am still in deep thoughts. What will I do now?
I want to rekindle my passion again or discover other things that I am good at. I want to start blogging again even if people nowadays would prefer to watch YouTube videos than read blogs. I want to start again not because I need people's approval of my work, but because I know that this is what I loved to do. I love pouring out my thoughts through writing and this is where I am good at expressing myself.
I don't know if you are still reading up to this part but if you are, I want to thank you for reading my sincere thoughts.
As for R's Beauty Diary, I want to start again, I want to start from scratch and continue to do what I used to love.
(Until we see each other again. I will continue to hang on and wait till I'll have my wings again...)
0 comments